It's only a $4 download too, so if you're running Vista, this purchase could only be described as, well, logical. And, of course, the very fact that it's needlessly exclusive to Vista will be a sticking point for some, but that's a criticism to be aimed at Microsoft, and not this beautifully crafted shoot 'em up. There's also a yet-to-be-patched-up exploit involving Vista's fancy alt-tabbing, which slows the game to a stutter, meaning that you can rack up huge scores, albeit quite slowly. Plus, on anything less than a 21-inch screen, the excessively flashy visuals hinder the game slightly. It's hard to see what's happening when it begins to look like an exploding fireworks factory, or a truck carrying kaleidoscopes crashing into a shop full of stained-glass windows, or whatever simile you'd care to misuse. The game is more suited to the dimensions of an HDTV than a typical monitor, despite the option to ramp up the resolution. Some drawbacks arrive with this Vistaexclusive version, however.

You could write a thesis on this game, and many people probably have. Enemies of increasing degrees of complexity throw themselves at you, each with its own behavioural patterns and distinctive 'birth noise', which you must bury deep inside your subconscious mind and routinely exploit in your efforts to achieve a slightly higher score than last time. The left analogue stick moves your ship about the right controls the direction of your bullets. To play, you really need a gamepad -mouse and keyboard isn't half as good. What we've got is pretty much identical to the 360 version: as pure a shoot 'em up as you'll ever see, with as simple a rule-set as games generally allow. Yes, it's Geometry Wars, turning sane folks into profanity-spewing demons as it did on console. Art thou a handy friend, granting me temporary refuge by means of your intense gravitational field? Or art thou, as many might suspect 'a f***ing-bastard-stupid-shit'?

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